What we know for sure so far...

This whole journey has been a series of unknowns! Is it cancer? Has it spread? How did I not feel it sooner? Why did I get this? How will the kids react? Can I handle this? So, first I thought I should write about what we do know!

About a week before Christmas I felt a lump. It was big. I thought it must be a hormonal change or something. So, I waited to see if it would go away. Every day it felt bigger. So, the last day of Christmas break I called my OBGYN and asked to come in to get it checked (even though my appointment was just 3 weeks away). The next morning I went to the doctor. She sent me straight to imaging to have a diagnostic mammogram. At this point, I started to panic a little. After the mammogram they did an ultrasound. The radiologist came in the room and said I need to do a biopsy to "rule out breast cancer". That's the first time I heard the term breast cancer in relation to me. To get  the biopsy my insurance required that I first meet with a surgeon. We met with the surgeon at Shawnee Mission Medical Center the next day. She asked if they had discussed my mammogram with me. I replied yes (meaning I know I need a biopsy). She said "then you know you have breast cancer". No. No I did not know that. The rest of that meeting was a blur. I had all weekend to run those words over and over in my head. Monday was the biopsy and by Tuesday afternoon it was confirmed that it was in fact cancer. Jim and I knew we were in the wrong place to tackle this head on. We made appointments with KU Medical Center. Then we wait. And wait. And wait. Since then we have met with the surgeon, oncologist and I have had every test known to man! From all of this we know the following: 

-I have an invasive ductal carcinoma (invasive means not contained by my ducts)

-It is localized (only in my right breast)

-It is very aggressive (a 3 on a scale of 1-3)

-It is very fast growing (96 on a scale of 1-100)

-It is triple negative breast cancer (not hormone or HER2 receptive)

-It is "young woman cancer"

-I will loose ALL my hair

-I start chemotherapy Wednesday (pending insurance pre-approval and waiting to know which protocol)

-It has NOT moved into my lymph nodes!!! (This is the best news of all of this)
-It has NOT spread anywhere else in my body!!!

-It was most likely not even there 3 months ago

-I have initiated the genetic testing to see if there is a gene mutation that caused this. I will have that back in about a week. 

-I have my port and it's AMAZING! It hurts but I can't believe what they can do in just a few minutes with it!
-I have a wig and I think it's pretty cute!  Thank you to my Mom, Patti and Kacy for helping me!!!

Everyone has been SO amazing through all of this!  Jim has taken on many new roles and still continues to be there for me every day!!!  He's my rock and I am so lucky to have his as my partner in life!  My family and Jim's family have been so supportive and helpful with everything!  All our friends have rallied around us and if feels so nice to not be alone in this battle!

The boys are doing ok. We have just been very honest with them.  They know I'm sick, it's cancer, I'm going to loose my hair, It's going to grow back and when I'm ALL WELL we are going to the beach and building sand castles all day! Focusing on the positive but letting them know about the negative.  James asks a lot of questions!  I'm amazed by his intelligence and understanding (even though he is only 5)!  Sam does not worry or question anything.  He does not want me to loose my hair, but; he helped pick out my wig and even modeled it!  They're doing better than I would expect considering how many changes we have had in the last few weeks.  

It's been a rough road already! I know it's going to be hard and it's going to hurt. But, I will do anything to be here for a long time! My prognosis is good. It just all depends on how my body responds to the chemo. Chemo attacks rapidly dividing cells and these cancer cells are very rapidly dividing! So, the oncologist is very optimistic that we can not only shrink this tumor with the chemo but make it completely disappear! I have my good days and bad days. I am really trying to keep my head up and make many more days good days! 

I will do my best to keep this updated so that you will know what's going on! Thanks for reading!

Love,

Lindsey

One of my MANY beautiful gowns I get to wear!